What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What melts your heart every time without fail?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

True - how I loved my mum!

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

How can I get over a break up?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What do you mean son?

Why am I losing interest to get a job and to all my desires because of this spiritual awakening? How do I get through life because of it?

What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

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Do you know what she said mum?